The Office of the United State Presidency

StartFragmentI have made it a point to keep politics from my page, but with the current state of the political sphere and following this last debate, I think it only fair and prudent to weigh in throw my heavy endorsement to the candidate that I feel best represents this nation...LES CLAYPOOL, the clear winner of this last presidential debate.

Now, I realize he may have been running a rather subdued campaign when compared to others, but let us take a moment to look at his sterling record...:

1. He is the only candidate out there to accurately point out that Wynona's big, brown beaver might actually be a porcupine.

2. The only things his hands grope are his basses, and it is always consensual.

3. As a colonel, he led the Fearless, Flying Frog Brigade across the sonic landscape towards aural bliss.

4. He has had a successful career as a foreign diplomat. People the world over have gathered in throngs to hear him in places like Great Britain, Germany, and Brazil, to name a few.

5. He is an even more successful businessman than other candidates, manning the helm of no less than 14 organizations (Primus, Purple Pachyderm, C2B3, CLD, Electric Apricot, etc.)

6. He wrote the actual book on the deal, 'South of the Pumphouse.' A great read that everyone should own. (And he didn't even ghostwrite it).

7. He is the only candidate to travel the Cosmic Highway aboard the 'Liquid Sky' along such great dignitaries as Sathington Willoughby, Puddin' Taine, and Tommy the Cat.

8. As a young man, Les Claypool sailed across the seas of cheese, defying the laws of tradition, in a crusade only of the brave.

9. He has worked hard for years for all of these damn, blue collared tweekers, and he will continue to do so.

10. He is the only candidate willing to stay up a full El Sobrante fortnight to get things done.

And that is why Les is ready for the highest office of the land. This November 28, vote Les Claypool for President!EndFragment

Les is More!